Thursday, March 25, 2010

Cheater cheater, pumpkin eater

In case you didn't see my comment on the last post, I have already cheated. Cravings got the best of me, and I had a piece of cake while waiting for my rice and beans to cook. I can't wait til I get back on track so the cravings can take a hike!!

Just putting that out there. Guilty conscience, what??

Felt awful this morning, was a little better by the end of the day. Now I'm just pooped. Might need some coffee to get me through my meeting tonight. Good thing I made a dietary exception for coffee! For now at least, I don't plan on using it when I don't "need" it. I can stop anytime I want. Really, it's not like I'm addicted or anything...

(How many times have I heard that from my patients? and I just smile and know better?)

And yes, I am a pumpkin eater. Usually in cake form. With cream cheese frosting. See previous post on the glories of pumpkin cake.

Did you know that pumpkin is hard to get this year? There was flooding and apparently the pumpkin crop was destroyed. At least that's what they guy at the store told me when I asked where it was (in March. Yeah, I'm cool like that.)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Gluten Cycle (Record Length Post)

In riding the gluten rollercoaster and failing at life, I often think that I should "detox" for a while. Absolutely nothing else to eat except fruit, vegetables, rice, and some plain meat. I once did it for about two days (with coffee thrown in there, as I wasn't that committed), and I felt pretty good. Except for the whole hunger thing.

I think I was glutened again today. Just as I should have been at the very start of the upswing after Sunday, I felt it this afternoon. The overwhelming need to close my eyes. Spending two minutes mentally rehearsing how I'm going to get up out of my chair before I find the motivation to do it. The rumbly, grumbly gut feeling. I've noticed that if I get glutened in quick succession (within a couple days), the symptoms are almost instant.

I thought I was being good. I got my produce box last night and promptly roasted some vegetables and grilled some plain chicken. I was ready to go!

So: with that in mind, I've narrowed it down to three possibilities.

1. Nature Made calcium plus vitamin D.

I try to take this often, but I'm your typical non-adherent patient. I took one this morning. Since it is sporadically used, it may have caused many glutenings in the past which I could not pin down.

2. Pacific almond milk.

I know they say "gluten free" and that they have all these allergen-removing cleaning procedures that they do every day. But they still run GF products on the same lines as gluten. Big FAIL. (but I still take the chance of drinking it. So who is really to blame?? ------> arrow pointing at me)

And... the one I most highly suspect...

3. Green tea. I think the brand might be Organic Pure??

I made this at work today. I was tired before it, but I was really tired after it. To the point where I could barely think, move, and function. Then I ran (slowly? and with poor coordination?) to the bathroom.

Would anyone like a half box of green tea bags? I think I'm gonna just bump up the caff in my coffee for the next few days and avoid tea.

The other part of the gluten cycle isn't just trying to pinpoint a culprit. It's also dealing with the symptoms. I haven't yet found a good way to solve the problem (obviously, since this happens multiple times weekly...)

I know that I should go on instant detox. The irony is that when I'm glutened, I'm in no state of mind (or body) to deprive myself further.

The carb cravings are crazy. Caffeine is guaranteed to be the only way I'm getting my sorry butt to work tomorrow. I'm so tired, I'm ready to drop, but when I drop, I can't actually sleep well. A glass of wine is the only remedy I've found.

Sometimes, I almost hear my adrenal glands complaining. Hey, crazy lady! What do you think you're doing?? We're already working overtime trying to make up for your massive amounts of inflammation, and now you throw this at us? Chocolate cake? Mac and cheese?? Alcohol??? Caffeine????

You really expect us to calm down and ever get your body back to normal?

The really sad part is when I start arguing back :)

I digress... but the point is- I think I can't detox for a few days because I'm afraid of two things.

1. That it won't work (have had this happen before), and I'll just be glutened again after having put forth that much effort


2. That it will work, and that I will have to eat (or not eat, as it may be) that way for the rest of my life.

It is hard enough to deal with what I'm already dealing with. I can't give up everything. At least not for more than a few days.

So I guess my plan is this. I'll indulge the cravings for a short time. Maybe 1 day. I did bake a chocolate cake (Namaste... mmmm....), can't let it go to waste! Guess I should put it in the freezer. I already had two pieces for supper. Welcome to Glutened Land.

Then, I'm going to plan, plan, plan for a 3-day period of nothing remotely problematic. Except coffee, but I'll sacrifice and drink it black. I will use PB from a jar to eat with my apple for breakfast. But that's about it. Oh, and Larabars.

See how this quickly gets out of hand?? Too many exceptions.

Why did I go into all this detail and post it online? It's accountability, friends. No one wants to hear me moan about my symptoms and plan out my diet in real life, and I certainly don't blame them! So here it is, in black and white. Or gray, or purple, or whatever color my basic blog is now.

Here goes nothing. I'm going to go finish off the almond milk so I'm not tempted to put it in my coffee tomorrow! And put (what's left of) the cake in the freezer... And pack my lunch... And get ready to feel hungry but better starting tomorrow! Here's hoping!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Stinky cheese!!

So, friends, I have been yet again caught up in the vicious glutening cycle. As such, the crazy carb cravings have been cycling just as viciously. I guess at least I know what to expect, right? (sigh)

The weird thing is- it isn't only carbs, but also cheese. Especially the two together... and not your average mozzarella or co-jack, but the sharp, slightly stinky kind! Sharp cheddar, parm, I could eat entire blocks of it at a time. I'm guessing this could mean a few things: my blood sugar is just wacky and I have a psychological dependence on cheese, that I crave things that are bad for me and full of histamine/tyramine/something common to all my cravings, there is a yeast issue, lots of theories but nothing definitive.

All I care about at this point is satisfying the food cravings and going to sleep. Seriously.

It is impossible for me to stick to a super restrictive diet right after a glutening, partially because of the apathetic funk it puts me in, and partially because my valiant efforts at eating nothing have been for naught. (definition of eating nothing: no gluten, dairy, soy, sulfites, refined sugar, anything out of a box or bottle not produced in a dedicated facility, etc.)

I might as well have had that Biggby caramel marvel that I resisted over the weekend while I had the chance!!

Last night, I had a glass of wine. After work today, I made my infamous mac and cheese. I then ate a Schaer hazelnut chocolate bar. Very nutritious.

So frustrating that every few days when I DO get back on track, I fall off the wagon as soon as I start braving the bumpy climb back up onto it.

If I find anything that works, save complete hibernation, I'll let you know.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

So many things to say!

So little time to blog!

News Highlights:

Mac and cheese. Even if I was committed to going casein-free, I couldn't do it. Solely because of mac and cheese. It gets me every time. Sigh.

I've had to branch out lately with where I get my food. (Usual store was incredibly rude, so I haven't been back, long story). Found a pretty cool organic produce place that makes up boxes every week to pick up at various locations. Also found a local grocery chain that stocks a pretty decent selection of GF stuff.

I think I'm intolerant to bananas and avocados, two things that are always in the produce box. What to do? I used to love them both, but now can hardly look at them without being nauseous. I thought it was unrelated, but then I found out that there can be cross-sensitivity between the two! Never would have called that one.

I ordered some "bulk" items from Amazon. The prices weren't all that much better than in-store, but it is way more convenient for things I buy often. Plus, if I can use my FSA, it makes the record-keeping much easier.

I have written a rant post in my head about GF labeling probably 40 times in the last month. Short version: labeling an item "gluten free" is NOT helping me at this point, but actually making it harder for me to find safe food.

It helps me a lot to check out the forums on Many times, someone else has reacted to whatever ingredient I might have my evil gluten-eye trained on. If not, then I move on to other suspects.

Also, hearing about other people's gluten-related symptoms is oddly comforting. It's funny when I see in writing those oddball symptoms that I've only recently begun admitting to my husband or my mom. (And they think I'm crazy, which is symptom #211: Going Crazy).

That's about it for the GF News. Now on to chocolate cake...