Monday, September 24, 2012

Life. And sticking together. And blogging.

I often think "I should blog about this!" throughout my day.

It doesn't always have anything to do with Celiac Disease. It is often just me ranting about something or other.

Then, I think- what else could I do with my time? Something more useful? Actually tackle the mountains of dishes and laundry? Or get back on track with working out? Or do some meal prep so I'm not scrambling later? Or the other bazillion projects I need to finish (Er... start...)? Or anything else that might free me up later so I can stop "managing" my daughter and actually being present with her?

Blogging just doesn't seem like an important thing in the scheme of life; however, I start to think of how so many blogs have given me ideas, inspiration, and encouragement, and I realize that maybe there is something more to it than just a relatively anonymous place to vent.

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I ran into a friend at the grocery store today. I wouldn't have seen her had I not been making my second trip into the store. As is typical, I was feeling like a failure because I left my list out in the truck and decided to wing it, only to have to go back in after checking out. After all, how can you make vegetable soup without vegetables? I'm good at substitution, but not that good...

She's been through waaaaay more than I have prior to her diagnosis last year. Her daughter has also been chronically ill and in pain. She said I looked well and asked how I was doing. I said we were doing pretty well, which is the truth most of the time. I still deal with a lot of fatigue and off and on anxiety, but looking back at where I've been, I'm doing just fine. Praise God! (Now if I would just stop eating rice, that would help!)

I then asked how she was doing. I could tell by her hesitancy that things were still pretty awful. She has found more food intolerances. I (not so wisely) mentioned that it took me years and years to figure mine out enough to even feel human again. I felt like an idiot for saying that. After all, who wants to hear that it took someone else on the order of years to improve?

But then she said that it was encouraging to know that it had taken awhile. It took me a bit to realize that it could, in fact, be encouraging. That whole light at the end of the tunnel thing. The hope I felt when I came across someone else's relatable story, a new piece of info, or a new safe meal idea, many times on blogs.

And that's when I realized that even though I complain a lot (I think it kind of naturally goes along with a sarcastic sense of humor...), maybe my story is important to other people. Maybe my ideas could help someone else. If nothing else, blogging provides me a way to reflect.

Since I write lengthy summaries in my personal journal every day, I take a ton of time for that already... not...

So maybe I'm back. Not with regularity, but occasionally when I have something to say. It might not be the prettiest or funniest or best-worded, but it's real. And I hope I can help!

SC