Top 5 reasons to blog in the middle of the night

I have a bit of unexpected time. Granted, it is the middle of the freaking night, and I am what my husband calls "exhausperated", but hey, why not blog? Doesn't everyone want to read about my exhausperated thoughts??

So here are my top 5 reasons why you should blog at 1:21 AM.

1. Because if you go to sleep, and your one-year-old wakes up screaming AGAIN, you just might start actually banging your head against the wall instead of just thinking about it. And that's just not nice.

2. Because you have such clear thinking when you haven't gotten much sleep lately. And everyone wants to read about that. And know that you get really terrible songs stuck in your head when sleep-deprived. And that you develop a potty mouth.

3. Because waiting up to see if your husband can text you when he lands in China is cool. And since he only had about 20 minutes left in his flight when your kid finally stopped protesting sleep, why the hell not?!

4. Because I love reading "Top #" Lists. They are my fav. Especially when you can tell that someone is really reaching for that last reason.

5. Did I say 5? I really meant 4.

So was this post completely pointless? YES. Do I actually have useful things to say, and useful info to share? YES. Will I ever get around to doing that?

Depends on if I ever get some sleep...

Good morning.

SC

So what SHOULD I eat??

It seems as though there is something wrong with every food.

Grains- bad. Not only from a gluten standpoint, but the others make my blood sugar wacky. Plus, they feed the yeast.

Legumes- I seem to have more, ahem, "side effects" from these now than I used to, even with soaking. Nuff said.

Nightshades- I know I don't deal well with these, except maybe a little cooked tomato. Plus, little one has nasty, nasty reflux when I eat tomatoes. Had I known that, maybe I would have gotten some sleep during those first terrible months... or maybe not.

Cruciferous veggies, like broccoli, cauli, cabbage- similar to legumes, but for the little one. Though, come to think of it, they have started to bother me more the few times I have had them. Kind of like beans, but less. What's the deal?

Sugar- so many reasons. Not even gonna start with that one.

Fruit- feeds the yeast.

Dairy- not sure why, but I feel yucky any time I have some. Tried a little bit of cheese the other night on an omelette-y/fritatta-y thing with chorizo and spinach. It sure was good, but I felt tired and just gross for awhile after. I do eat butter. And yes, I've tried raw dairy. Maybe I should try it yet again, but it hasn't made a difference so far. And the one time I ate raw milk cheese? Sorry, but it tasted and smelled like a cow. The business end of said cow. Not worth it.

Nuts and seeds, including almond flour, cocoa, coconut flour- PHYTATES. I have severe problems with phytates. I think part of this has come to a head while nursing, but I don't exactly have the absorbing capacity to make up for whatever minerals the phytates bind. I've been feeling weird for awhile, thought at first it was just Mg deficiency, and now I'm thinking it is probably multiple minerals from phytic acid. Fail.

I do soak them, but maybe I don't do it long enough or the right way. Or the right whey... since I don't exactly have whey to ferment them with...

I'm sure there is something here that I've missed. Because any time one of my friends says, "Hey, can you eat __________?" I almost always have to say no, then follow up with an abbreviated explanation of why that no one really cares to hear.

So what's a girl to do? What's a girl to eat??

Grass-fed beef and lettuce. That's about it. Sigh. Not that I don't love a good burger or steak, but I'm running out of options here. I have to force myself to eat salad. I just have NO appetite for it.

And what is little one supposed to eat??

This is getting expensive and depressing. Even soaking my nuts and seeds has only been moderately effective. I thought using blanched almond flour would be ok, but I should just avoid it. Cuz then I bake with it and make yummy things and eat too much of them and really screw myself in the phytate department.

Thanks for letting me rant,
SC

(Oh, and little one is allergic to carrots. Sigh.)

Drugs

Imagine with me, if you will:

You committed yourself to an insane dietary plan like GAPS, SCD, etc. It helped, so you try to stick to it for the most part. You've had to add a little rice or quinoa here and there, but you at least remember what you learned from going GAPS. You decide to feed your child accordingly, starting with vegetables and fruits (organic as possible), adding grass-fed beef, pastured chicken and eggs, and so on.

And then teething starts. And goes on for months. And the poor child can barely function, much less sleep.

(And this is the ONE situation in which you really, really wish she still took a pacifier... at least she'd have something to chomp on while falling asleep...)

So, tired of seeing poor baby in pain, you decide that maybe giving her some Tylenol isn't the end of the world. After all, you are a pharmacist. You're supposed to like drugs, right?!

So maybe acetaminophen (hereafter known as APAP) might contribute to asthma development. Or might overwhelm her tiny liver. But you look past those minute risks, and decide that the benefits win.

The bottle says gluten free. Yay! Easy win there!

Then you look at the list of ingredients. #1 is anhydrous citric acid, which you know you can't tolerate, as most commercial citric acid is derived from an Aspergillus mold, therefore activating your overly-sensitive yeast/mold sensor.

Following is a list of other ingredients just as questionable. The label touts "No high fructose corn syrup!", which is great, but the stuff has a bunch of sucralose in it, the likes of which alters GI flora. And sorbitol, a sugar alcohol that can cause diarrhea. There is basically no sweetener that could make me happy.

Hmmm...

And now that the infant drops have been discontinued, you have to give her 3.75 mL to get the 120 mg dose you want. Doesn't sound like much, but that's like four swallows!

(Maybe we could have kept that concentration available for parents who read the label carefully and follow directions. I can see flaming comments in my future... but it sure would be handy. Should have bought a ton before it totally went off the shelves, but didn't think about it. Fail. I know the new standard concentration is safer, yada yada, but still. Come on.)

Too bad you can't just give her plain APAP powder, if you could get your hands on it. Which you can't. Plus, it tastes horrendously bitter (thus the flavoring...).

So what to do? Wouldn't it be nice to have something like a plain, concentrated suspension you could add to some appropriate food? I would totally give it to her in a syringe filled with applesauce...

Wish I could do that. Blend modern drugs and science with vehicles more appropriate for natural and organic diets.

I feel like such a schmuck for being so anal about what she eats, then pumping her full of this crap for dessert at every meal. But hey, we gotta do what we gotta do, and this kid is the slowest teether in the history of dentition.

And by the way, her diarrhea abruptly stopped when she went a day without APAP. Guess I have my answer there. Ick.

Pyramid Scheme: It's just SAD

I forget where I first heard the acronym SAD used for the Standard American Diet, but it sure is spot-on.

Everyone I talk to understands the way I eat. I never get comments and questions like "Gosh, that sure doesn't sound low-fat" or "I have high cholesterol, I could never eat that way" or "How can you be healthy without whole grains?"

Right.

It seems like so many people are paying attention to "healthy" eating, or at least they are trying. Counting calories, eating diet foods, what have you.

So why, then, does no one seem to understand what a healthy diet really entails? Even some of the mass media is eschewing carbs (and thus, sometimes, grains). I know for a fact that I actually agreed with what Dr. Oz was saying the one time I saw him on TV...

Even people who are close to me, who understand the most about why I *try* to avoid grains, why I don't eat much processed stuff, why I soak my nuts and seeds, etc. make comments that just don't make any sense.

So it's not always that we are oblivious to what we're eating. It's that what we're taught is pretty much just blatantly wrong, and we just can't get it out of our heads.

I about screamed in delight when I read a blog post from a local doctor that told the TRUTH about grains: that they make your blood sugar spike (and, therefore, crash), then causing other hormonal issues and ultimately leading to weight gain and a whole host of other problems.

YES!

And DUH!

At least DUH for someone who made progress using the GAPS diet. And lost weight and gained muscle while eating plenty. And who feels at least marginally weird every time she eats rice pasta...

But I think back to that damn food pyramid that I still have embedded in my brain from junior high health classes. Remember that one? With the enormous base of breads and grains, it was like 6-11 servings/day? I know they've changed it since, but it's still ridiculous.

Not to mention that I, with no formal training in the area of dietetics, have taught dieticians at my office about gluten issues. They said they had no education or experience with it. That is just not right. I know some great dieticians, but it seems exceedingly weird to me that so many have no clue about Celiac. It seems like this has gotten better over the past 2-3 years, but geesh. If they aren't the experts, who are??

(Side note: when I was first diagnosed with Celiac, the doc told me nothing and referred me to a dietician. When I called to schedule the appointment, they didn't even know what Celiac was, but said that I could come talk to the dietician anyway and she would try to look something up about it. Because I couldn't do that myself...
Also, that it would be at my own expense, since my insurance only covered dietician visits in cases of diabetes. The insurance people were clueless too, by the way. I called to complain, since I have a condition which can only be managed by dietary intervention, and they basically told me I was SOL. Pretty sure I told them where they could stuff their whole wheat bagels...)


I often feel like I'm giving a lecture every time someone asks about what I'm eating. I consciously try to make things as general as possible. After all, it would be a VERY long conversation to fully explain it. But sometimes, I feel obligated to include as much of the story as possible. Maybe I'm not inconveniencing someone with my verbosity, maybe they will use the info to help someone else figure out their food-related problems. Maybe it will spark interest in real healthy food.

As long as we can just ignore that dumb pyramid. Thanks, USDA. Grain subsidies, anyone?

Life. And sticking together. And blogging.

I often think "I should blog about this!" throughout my day.

It doesn't always have anything to do with Celiac Disease. It is often just me ranting about something or other.

Then, I think- what else could I do with my time? Something more useful? Actually tackle the mountains of dishes and laundry? Or get back on track with working out? Or do some meal prep so I'm not scrambling later? Or the other bazillion projects I need to finish (Er... start...)? Or anything else that might free me up later so I can stop "managing" my daughter and actually being present with her?

Blogging just doesn't seem like an important thing in the scheme of life; however, I start to think of how so many blogs have given me ideas, inspiration, and encouragement, and I realize that maybe there is something more to it than just a relatively anonymous place to vent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I ran into a friend at the grocery store today. I wouldn't have seen her had I not been making my second trip into the store. As is typical, I was feeling like a failure because I left my list out in the truck and decided to wing it, only to have to go back in after checking out. After all, how can you make vegetable soup without vegetables? I'm good at substitution, but not that good...

She's been through waaaaay more than I have prior to her diagnosis last year. Her daughter has also been chronically ill and in pain. She said I looked well and asked how I was doing. I said we were doing pretty well, which is the truth most of the time. I still deal with a lot of fatigue and off and on anxiety, but looking back at where I've been, I'm doing just fine. Praise God! (Now if I would just stop eating rice, that would help!)

I then asked how she was doing. I could tell by her hesitancy that things were still pretty awful. She has found more food intolerances. I (not so wisely) mentioned that it took me years and years to figure mine out enough to even feel human again. I felt like an idiot for saying that. After all, who wants to hear that it took someone else on the order of years to improve?

But then she said that it was encouraging to know that it had taken awhile. It took me a bit to realize that it could, in fact, be encouraging. That whole light at the end of the tunnel thing. The hope I felt when I came across someone else's relatable story, a new piece of info, or a new safe meal idea, many times on blogs.

And that's when I realized that even though I complain a lot (I think it kind of naturally goes along with a sarcastic sense of humor...), maybe my story is important to other people. Maybe my ideas could help someone else. If nothing else, blogging provides me a way to reflect.

Since I write lengthy summaries in my personal journal every day, I take a ton of time for that already... not...

So maybe I'm back. Not with regularity, but occasionally when I have something to say. It might not be the prettiest or funniest or best-worded, but it's real. And I hope I can help!

SC

Chocolate and Avocados.

I have a problem.

Well, technically, I have a lot of problems... har-dee-har... but I won't go there.

I have a problem with chocolate. I want it.

I've been revisiting an old recipe based on this lately, but I don't really measure anymore, so it has changed somewhat.



Now, you probably think I'm crazy to want to eat chocolate with avocados. That such a simple combo of ingredients would be so addicting.

Ok, busted, I am crazy. But this is still yummy, I promise. Pinky swear.

I hadn't had any chocolate since I figured out that the little one had major reflux, and that my diet affected it. A lot. REALLY wish I would have figured that out earlier, but that's a whole 'nother topic.

So I tried some of this when I had some avocados just on the edge of overripe disgustingness, and was reminded of how much I liked chocolate. Ok, maybe love. Or addiction.

Oh, dear.

I then thought about how amazing it would be paired with chocolate cake, proceeding to make a coconut flour chocolate cake.

"So, SC," you say, "why is this an issue? Go for it, you've deprived yourself enough!" Alas, but I am the one whose body doesn't like chocolate now. At least in the amounts that I had been eating it...

It all started with some muscle weakness. Then foot cramps. Then mouth sores. Then anxiety. And I was like, what the crap??? I know that you can crave chocolate when magnesium deficient, so I figured that was the answer.

Simple enough.

Except- why was I magnesium deficient all of a sudden? Sure, I wasn't supplementing it like I used to, but I hadn't for quite awhile. What gives??

I believe the answer lies with phytates, because this all came to a head when I had some noodles I made with tahini. More tahini than normal. Unsoaked sesame seeds in said tahini.

Sesame seeds are uber-high in phytic acid, which can actually bind certain minerals including magnesium, and cause them to not be absorbed.

Chocolate is pretty high on the phytic acid scale, too.

Fail.

Funny how the very thing people crave that is high in magnesium can also bind magnesium and flush it right out the pooper.

So anyway, I cut out the tahini for awhile, cut back on the chocolate, and supplemented some magnesium. Took a few Epsom salt baths for good measure. Mostly just to assuage my guilt for taking the time to sit in the bathtub and loaf.

I'm still eating some of my chocolate stuff, though. I just can't resist. Try it, you'll see what I mean.

Chocolate Avocado Multi-Use Goodness (aka frosting, pudding, whatever you feel like calling it)

1 3/4 - 2 ripe, average-size avocados
3-4 T. cocoa powder (I use Rodelle and LOVE it)
1/3 - 1/2 c honey, to taste
1 t. vanilla (I also use Rodelle here)
3 T. coconut milk (optional)

Plop all ingredients into food processor or blender-type apparatus. I use the chopper/grinder attachment to my Cuisinart handheld stick blender. Love that thing. (I have also used the mini food processor, basically the same thing). Blend.

Add more sweetener or coconut milk if desired. Blend again until super smooth. Add more coconut milk if you want it lighter and pudding like. Less or none for frosting.

Eat. Enjoy. Try to save some for later. Fail.

It is seriously that easy.

(And why 1 3/4 avocados? I cut some up for little one for lunch, then use the rest plus one to make this. By making this, I'm being efficient and not letting things go to waste. Or so I tell myself...)

Count of times that, while writing this post, I ventured to the kitchen for "just one more bite": 4

SC

The voices in my head

I've probably written this post a million times.

In my head.

It's like there is a tiny elfin narrator inside my head, constructing sarcastic sentences and hilarious examples while I while away my time at mundane tasks. I think his name is Fred.

I don't do a whole lot of actual writing anymore, what with trying to keep the kiddo and myself alive and awake/asleep at the appropriate times and fed and whatnot. 

So maybe that's the reason for the running internal commentary. Words just keep cramming into my head and do the clowns-in-the-car routine until I let them out.

Unfortunately, what I have to say is always more organized/witty/useful in my head. I can't usually remember it once I actually sit down at my computer. Figures.

So, in an effort to turn down the volume on that pesky cerebral narrator, I am blogging. Well, without really talking about anything in particular. But blogging, nonetheless.

Take that, Fred.

Now it really gets interesting when I get songs in my head and my life is a musical...

SC