Play with your food.

I'm searching the interwebz today for Christmas ideas for little K. She needs some play food for her kitchen. Sounds pretty simple, right? Google to the rescue!

So I find things like this at Toys R Us:

I think there are maybe four things she has ever eaten in that whole conglomeration. It's either grains or nightshades!! (or both)

This was another that caught my eye:

And I realize that my kid must be super weird. She does know what bread is, she just doesn't know that the bread we eat is made out of different stuff than "normal" bread. She knows what a hot dog is, but only because there is a plastic one at Grandma's house with the play kitchen stuff. She often takes a slice of plastic pizza out of the oven, declares it too hot, blows on it, then offers me a slice. Her only experience with pizza is when Daddy eats it.

This might be more difficult than I thought.

Does this reinforce how ubiquitous our terrible eating habits have become as a society? Yeesh.

I'm done complaining now. Have a nice day!

SC

Edit: I have one more thing to add since I have continued looking. PLEASE, PEOPLE, please stop saying that corn is a vegetable. Perhaps this should not irk me so, but it does. Corn is a grain. I should know, I'm from Indiana. (Although, there's more than corn in Indiana...)

Carrots. And Baby Led Weaning.

My daughter has always been on the skinny side, save for a month-or-so-long period around the six-month mark when she suddenly turned chubby. But boy, can this girl eat!

I always kind of wonder why.

I was a teeny tiny child. As in, my daughter would dwarf me in comparison if I'm to believe the numbers in my baby book. I didn't eat a ton then, as far as I know, though I did as I became school age and a teen. I ate like a horse. Or at least a linebacker. And stayed anorexic-looking. Damn undiagnosed Celiac.

So I expect my kid to be pretty slender, especially if you consider that her dad is a beanpole. What I didn't expect was that she would regularly eat more than I do at meals (at the age of two)!

When she first started eating more solids, probably at about one and a half or so, I thought, "dang, this is quite the growth spurt!" But then it just continued. And became a new normal. I know kids go in phases of eating more and less, but her set point seems to be at "more", and I know something is up if it changes to "less."

Is it because she eats mostly GAPS foods like I do? Does she need to eat more because her foods aren't as "filling" as SAD foods? (I use that word hesitantly, since I hate the idea of eating food just to promote a feeling of fullness instead of for nutrients.)

Today's breakfast was a whole banana, some grapes, two strips of bacon, a scrambled egg (sometimes two!), and soup.

So I have a good eater on my hands, and I'm not complaining about that, since I know soooooo many toddlers whose parents have to tie them to a chair with a jump rope and force feed them. Like Ensure boarding, but without the whole prison part.

Ok, not really, but I do know many whose kids will only eat yogurt and chicken nuggets. Or string cheese and chicken nuggets. Or chocolate milk and chicken nuggets. (and then complain that their kid always has horrible diarrhea, to which I gently replied, "you know, maybe it's what they are eating? maybe you could try a little less dairy?" Except it probably wasn't said as gently as I'd like to give myself credit for...)

I remember being so worried about whether my kid would eat. And what she would eat. I spent soooooo much time researching things, that I kept seeing information on Baby Led Weaning (BLW). It doesn't really have much to do with the weaning aspect of things, more with introducing solids. While I took away a few good things from it, like not being worried if my kid wasn't eating meals worth of solids every day at the age of six months, I have to say that it did NOT work out as expected with my daughter. I also think that some people for whom it does work worship BLW as a religion. And also look down on those of us who, after an initial conversion, slide back to a more traditional weaning view.

We started with roasted carrots. Oh, how I wish I would not have started with carrots. Devil eczema carrots.

I should have known that carrots were a problem for her when she wrinkled up her tiny nose at them. Every. Time. I thought she was just uninterested in food in general, which she really was until about 9 months, but she was especially hostile toward carrots.

Part of the beauty of BLW is that you don't have to sit there with a little spoon in hand, feeding baby while your plate of roasted salmon and asparagus becomes frigid and disgusting. Instead, you get to sit there, watching every little tiny bite of anything she tries to take while simultaneously trying NOT to hover, evaluating the approximate size of any bite she does take, and reviewing infant choking procedures on a constant loop in your head.

She gags. She shows signs of choking. You whisk her out of her high chair, turn her over, and smack her on the back. She breathes. You breathe. You realize she probably wasn't actually choking, but you weren't about to take the chance. Once you stop hyperventilating, you give her more. She gags again. You freak out again. She looks at you with that special expression of "what the HELL are you doing to me, woman?!"

Any meal at which she doesn't gag constantly is regarded as a success, with the exception of the fact that you were constantly paranoid. Which makes for such an enjoyable meal for parents and baby alike.

So I stopped with the solids after giving it a good go. I eventually tried some purees, the BLW equivalent of the devil's food (cake). She was way more interested. I was way more calm by the end of a meal. And that cold salmon wasn't even a problem.

She never did like the carrots, whole or pureed. And I gave them to her every dang day. And she had an awful, awful rash on her face for months.

The day I stopped the carrots was the day it started going away.

Funny how one of the notes about food in my baby book said, "5 months. Tried carrots, broke out in rash. Try again later."

Go flippin' figure. That would happen to me with the most nonallergenic food in the world.

Crunchy Mama

If you would have asked me a few years ago what I would be like as a mother, I would never have expected what I have become.

I am a crunchy mama.

As in granola crunchy. Well, if I ate granola. Instead of thinking that granola equals awful.

My food came from the grocery store or a restaurant. Pasteurized, homogenized, winterized... errr... It didn't matter what you ate, as long as it was in moderation. Cleaning products were supposed to kill every possible bacterium, virus, spore, nanorobot, etc. Western medicine was the only logical way to diagnose and treat any condition, and doctors had all the answers. Vaccines save lives and don't hurt anybody.

Celiac Disease provided an easy answer to my problems. Gluten is the devil! Just avoid it and you will be ok! So much research has been done into the CD mechanism that there is no question as to how or why it develops.

Or is there?

Once I started to question things, once just going GF didn't solve my problems, I started to realize something.

No one REALLY knows what they are talking about.

Long story short, without getting too soapboxy, I became Crunchy Mama.

I only started feeling somewhat human again after FINALLY discovering SCD/GAPS and also caring exactly where my food comes from. I mean, I obviously knew it came from a farm. Unlike my college roommate who was appalled by all the fields on the way to my hometown. Not to mention seeing cows! In real life! Wow!

I know the people who produce my meat, eggs, and some of my vegetables/fruits. I know that the chickens are pastured, and the beef grass-fed. I know that they don't use pesticides, even though they don't shell out the dough for organic certification. I try to eat in season and organic as much as possible.

And honestly, that just tastes better, right?? Like the realization come June of "Hmmm... that's how a strawberry actually tastes..."

I digress. (How unusual).

I've tried to use less harsh cleaners, and I eventually want to change my toiletry stash to all more natural options. (There I go using the word natural, as though that means something. Sorry.) I also try to use less hand sanitizer, less antibac soap.

I take probiotics and try to culture my food. Heck, I'd almost consider taking worms, as is proven beneficial in a few studies. Almost.

I actually don't realize how many things I am no longer "normal" about until it comes up with my friends or family. Like when we're shopping, and I refuse to buy flame retardant PJs for the little one. Or I hear people talking about how their low fat diet isn't working very well, and I'm like duh... Or I hear on the radio that autism diagnoses are up 600% in the last 10 years. Yes, 600%. Celiac probably isn't much different. I'm sorry, that's not just better diagnostics and awareness.

I guess I'm getting used to being crunchy. Maybe I'm a crunchy honey roasted almond. That sounds good... better than granola anyway!

Crunchily,
SC

Boobs.

So, about breastfeeding. It's so easy and natural.

Riiiiiiiight.

The natural part, maybe. Definitely is the best thing for baby if at all possible. Easy? Not so much.

I tried to research before lil K was born, I really did. Promise. I read most of the articles on La Leche League's website.

I didn't feel like I ever found any solid, real life information that was helpful in preparing me for the real thing. All my friends warned me that it was hard. The problem is, I didn't really understand what was hard about it! And not for lack of trying!

Looking back, the hardest things for me were fighting the myths that I read or was told by other people. Also the sleep deprivation. Oh, and did I mention the sleep deprivation?

1. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.

Ugh. This one is SO ubiquitous!!!!!! I just want to bang my head repeatedly with a metal cookie sheet every time I hear this one. If only I hadn't believed this, I might have done something before I had a RAGING yeast infection!!!!!! The exclamation points are completely necessary.

It's not going to be comfortable, especially at first. BUT, it should get more and more comfortable as time goes on. Not more and more liable to make you curse. Seriously, I swore like a sailor for at least the first 12 weeks post-partum. At one point, I had to grab the armrest of the couch and yell every time she latched just so I could try to deal with the pain. I would rather be in labor again. It was like someone stabbing my boob repeatedly with a hot knife. Showers were torture. Heck, air was torture.

The sad part is, I'm not exaggerating.

Pain is NOT normal. Also, doctors may or may not be hip to the yeast infection buzz. I went round and round with my doctor trying to get appropriate treatment. I literally spent HOURS on the phone. I could sing you the terrible hold muzak. Combine that frustration + the pain + trying to go back to work + hubby being gone for the week + cranky baby = MELTDOWN.

Trust your instincts. If something seems wrong, it probably is. If you've ever had yeast problems in the past, suspect it as a culprit for nursing problems. It is way more common than I would ever have imagined. (Actually, I had no idea this could happen, until I googled breastfeeding pain looking for some sort of help! And I've done a lot of research about yeast over the years! Fail.)

2. The boob is always the answer.

Um, no. She's clearly not hungry every time she cries. In fact, feeding sometimes made it worse. (Now I know we were battling silent reflux. Hindsight...)

Lil K was a super long nurser. She would take upwards of an hour to eat. I really wish I knew better at the time how to tell when they stop swallowing and start non-nutritive sucking. I think this would have saved me hours of frustration. (Have you ever tried to pee while breastfeeding? Quite a feat.)

I think if I had been confident enough to stop a nursing session when she was done eating or soon after, I could have gotten more good sleep for both of us. I tried doing the side-lying position in bed a few times like a good attachment parenting mom, but her reflux couldn't handle it. So I sat up every time she nursed, trying desperately not to fall over asleep. This did not work well for us, since we would spend an hour eating, then an hour or so trying to get her back to sleep, then it would soon be time to eat again. Oh the memories... errr... mammaries??

3. A little formula won't hurt anything. No one can breastfeed exclusively!

I seriously was told that "No one I know has ever been able to produce enough milk to exclusively breastfeed."

I had people (who shall remain anonymous) concerned for lil K's health when no such concern was needed. I had visitors on a day when she slept through the night for the first time (and it never happened again, for months). She ended up being hungry and cranky most of the day, both of our bodies just weren't used to that! So, while I appreciated the concern, it didn't help matters. In fact, it helped contribute to my complex of "Is she getting enough to eat?!" which then inhibited my letdown, which then did lead to some problems. Thankfully, once I got rid of some stress and made sure that I ate tons of food and drank a gallon of water every 5 minutes, that resolved itself.

Our doctor was not worried. Lil K was growing and developing right on track.

As for the formula thing, I was pretty bound and determined not to give her any. She clearly had tummy troubles, especially when I ate dairy. Why on earth would I willingly give her milk-derived formula??? And soy? You've got to be kidding me. Soy rips me up even worse than cow's milk. Not to mention the high levels of phytoestrogens. I haven't had soy in years.

If there was absolutely no alternative, then yes, many kids have tolerated it just fine. But given our history, and her possible propensity toward Celiac, I'm not taking chances with formula unless there is clearly no other option.

Thanks, but no thanks.

4. If you're worried about milk supply, do a "yield" with a pump and see how much you get.

This one really messed me up. I was somewhat pressured into doing this to prove that I was producing enough milk. Don't ask.

Though how we would have known how much "enough" is, I have no idea. I really didn't know how true it is that a baby is WAY more efficient than a breast pump. That's just how it is. Plus, the performance anxiety totally inhibited my let down. So I would sit there, pumping away, trying to relax, imagining rivers of breastmilk flooding from my body to little avail.

Of course, later, when there was no pressure, I got more. It still wasn't very efficient, though. The one time I pumped at work was laughable :)

Which leads me to another point that I've somewhat mentioned- Stress totally affects breastfeeding. I can't even tell you how much better it got when I finally started getting some sleep and wasn't constantly feeling hyped up just to stay awake. It sounds like pointless advice, because I have no idea how I would have implemented this, but try to get rid of as much stress as possible and get some sleep!!

5. The nipple shield has nothing to do with how much milk she gets.

Umm... it says so right on the package that it can inhibit milk supply and letdown. Unfortunately, I got one in the hospital and never saw the packaging.

I was told this numerous times when the lactation consultant said that it had nothing to do with her taking FOREVER to nurse, possible supply issues, yada yada. Good thing I didn't listen, worked on getting her to latch without it, and things have steadily gotten faster and better ever since.

And now, the most important one of all (and I almost forgot it, not intentionally saving the best for last...)

6. What you eat doesn't affect your baby that much.

Just stay away from the obvious no-nos, and everything will be great, right? Oh. So. Wrong.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I wish I would have started out on the right track with this one. See previous post about tomatoes.

I was obviously already gluten free, and as soon as I realized she had gut issues, I started looking into using probiotics. The trials of L. reuteri in colicky infants had both the placebo and treatment groups on a dairy free diet. So, I figured if I expected it to work, I'd go dairy free as well. I've only tested it once with a bit of cheese, but I have no idea if it mattered. I'm guessing the tomato sauce that went with it caused enough of the subsequent discomfort that I'll never know! Not worth risking it at this point. Poor thing has been through enough!

Seemed like garlic, onion, and broccoli bothered her, as well as other really green stuff (though that one is more of a guess). So I got rid of anything that tasted like anything.

The change I resisted the most would be the classic reflux foods. Tomatoes, citrus, and chocolate/caffeine. This one really hurt, especially when I was having so many low blood sugars from not eating enough. I'd just take a few swigs of OJ to feel better until I could get some real food in me.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I won't rehash all the tomato post here, but let's just say it has been painfully obvious since then that these were major culprits in K's discomfort. Poor baby.

So if you ever hear that line about how it shouldn't make that much of a difference, especially if you have had any experience yourself with food intolerances and the difference diet makes, just try making changes. It is SO worth a shot. I wish I would have trusted my instincts here waaaaaaaay earlier.

So that's my story. I'm sticking to it, for now. Until we start solids in a few weeks, and that's a whole new ballgame!

(Much of this post is for my own future reference, should I ever be brave enough to pop out another one. If it helps anyone else, great!! If it offends anyone, sorry, you should have stopped reading a long time ago :P)

SC

To vaccinate, or not to vaccinate?

Boy, that is the question!

Seems like there are two extremely zealous sides to the debate. Problem is, I have seen both sides of the coin.

On the hand of the Pro-vaccinators: my Western medicine education, a friend whose baby had pertussis, a family member whose 4-month old baby died of bacterial meningitis (The most heart-wrenching and horrific tragedy imaginable. Of note, they were intending to immunize.)

On the hand of the Anti-vaccinators: my experience with Western medicine not being able to adequately recognize and treat my own problems (and believe me, it's not for lack of trying different doctors and such), my success with the GAPS diet and further research on Leaky Gut Syndrome (and its association with autism), and the fact that I have a genetically-linked auto-immune disease that could be passed to my daughter and activated by an immune system insult

So you may be able to see my dilemma. And, of course, as soon as you bring up the subject, your most meek friend is pounding her fist and stomping her soapbox. Or writing flaming insults in the comment section of whatever webpage you've happened upon, searching desperately for some relevant and unbiased information.

Sigh.

I decided at first to try a more relaxed approach, only doing two vaccines at a time and doing only the ones for the most risky diseases. I thought I felt comfortable with this, and soon realized that I was just trying to convince myself that I was comfortable with it. In fact, I was panicked. Like not sleeping at all, paranoid. Like I had any sleep to lose at that point...

So after her second set of two, when she just wasn't herself for WEEKS afterward, and we seemed to regress on any progress we had made in the gut department, I decided that we just weren't going to do any vaccines at her 4 month visit.

Yes, I'm THAT MOM.

(Ask me a few years ago if this would have happened, and I would have laughed. Of course not! Vaccinate everyone for everything!)

I don't go along with all the conspiracy theorists on either side. No, I don't think drug companies are evil brainwashers. I also don't think that vaccination is without known risk, nor is it appropriate for every child. No, vaccines have not been shown in any study to cause autism.

But how many FACTS do we really know about the environmental factors associated with autism development? We DO know that it is associated with Leaky Gut Syndrome and that it is a genetically-linked disorder, likely activated by a set of unknown environmental factors.

Sound familiar?? (Like Celiac? or the other, related issues I've had in the past?)

That said, I am not comfortable vaccinating my specific child. It it not being selfish. In fact, I think that is a horrifically selfish argument, to say that choosing not to vaccinate is selfish.

If I and my child were completely healthy, with no known health issues, I would probably continue to vaccinate.

I know what I know. I've experienced what I've experienced. And I am not comfortable screwing with my child's immune system more than I already have. It is too susceptible to damage, given our history.

(Have I ever mentioned that my Celiac was triggered around the time that I had to get a bunch of vaccinations to continue in pharmacy school? I didn't even realize this until I started researching vaccinations for lil K. Correlation is not causation, but boy, does it make you wonder...)