Play with your food.

I'm searching the interwebz today for Christmas ideas for little K. She needs some play food for her kitchen. Sounds pretty simple, right? Google to the rescue!

So I find things like this at Toys R Us:

I think there are maybe four things she has ever eaten in that whole conglomeration. It's either grains or nightshades!! (or both)

This was another that caught my eye:

And I realize that my kid must be super weird. She does know what bread is, she just doesn't know that the bread we eat is made out of different stuff than "normal" bread. She knows what a hot dog is, but only because there is a plastic one at Grandma's house with the play kitchen stuff. She often takes a slice of plastic pizza out of the oven, declares it too hot, blows on it, then offers me a slice. Her only experience with pizza is when Daddy eats it.

This might be more difficult than I thought.

Does this reinforce how ubiquitous our terrible eating habits have become as a society? Yeesh.

I'm done complaining now. Have a nice day!

SC

Edit: I have one more thing to add since I have continued looking. PLEASE, PEOPLE, please stop saying that corn is a vegetable. Perhaps this should not irk me so, but it does. Corn is a grain. I should know, I'm from Indiana. (Although, there's more than corn in Indiana...)

So what SHOULD I eat??

It seems as though there is something wrong with every food.

Grains- bad. Not only from a gluten standpoint, but the others make my blood sugar wacky. Plus, they feed the yeast.

Legumes- I seem to have more, ahem, "side effects" from these now than I used to, even with soaking. Nuff said.

Nightshades- I know I don't deal well with these, except maybe a little cooked tomato. Plus, little one has nasty, nasty reflux when I eat tomatoes. Had I known that, maybe I would have gotten some sleep during those first terrible months... or maybe not.

Cruciferous veggies, like broccoli, cauli, cabbage- similar to legumes, but for the little one. Though, come to think of it, they have started to bother me more the few times I have had them. Kind of like beans, but less. What's the deal?

Sugar- so many reasons. Not even gonna start with that one.

Fruit- feeds the yeast.

Dairy- not sure why, but I feel yucky any time I have some. Tried a little bit of cheese the other night on an omelette-y/fritatta-y thing with chorizo and spinach. It sure was good, but I felt tired and just gross for awhile after. I do eat butter. And yes, I've tried raw dairy. Maybe I should try it yet again, but it hasn't made a difference so far. And the one time I ate raw milk cheese? Sorry, but it tasted and smelled like a cow. The business end of said cow. Not worth it.

Nuts and seeds, including almond flour, cocoa, coconut flour- PHYTATES. I have severe problems with phytates. I think part of this has come to a head while nursing, but I don't exactly have the absorbing capacity to make up for whatever minerals the phytates bind. I've been feeling weird for awhile, thought at first it was just Mg deficiency, and now I'm thinking it is probably multiple minerals from phytic acid. Fail.

I do soak them, but maybe I don't do it long enough or the right way. Or the right whey... since I don't exactly have whey to ferment them with...

I'm sure there is something here that I've missed. Because any time one of my friends says, "Hey, can you eat __________?" I almost always have to say no, then follow up with an abbreviated explanation of why that no one really cares to hear.

So what's a girl to do? What's a girl to eat??

Grass-fed beef and lettuce. That's about it. Sigh. Not that I don't love a good burger or steak, but I'm running out of options here. I have to force myself to eat salad. I just have NO appetite for it.

And what is little one supposed to eat??

This is getting expensive and depressing. Even soaking my nuts and seeds has only been moderately effective. I thought using blanched almond flour would be ok, but I should just avoid it. Cuz then I bake with it and make yummy things and eat too much of them and really screw myself in the phytate department.

Thanks for letting me rant,
SC

(Oh, and little one is allergic to carrots. Sigh.)

Pyramid Scheme: It's just SAD

I forget where I first heard the acronym SAD used for the Standard American Diet, but it sure is spot-on.

Everyone I talk to understands the way I eat. I never get comments and questions like "Gosh, that sure doesn't sound low-fat" or "I have high cholesterol, I could never eat that way" or "How can you be healthy without whole grains?"

Right.

It seems like so many people are paying attention to "healthy" eating, or at least they are trying. Counting calories, eating diet foods, what have you.

So why, then, does no one seem to understand what a healthy diet really entails? Even some of the mass media is eschewing carbs (and thus, sometimes, grains). I know for a fact that I actually agreed with what Dr. Oz was saying the one time I saw him on TV...

Even people who are close to me, who understand the most about why I *try* to avoid grains, why I don't eat much processed stuff, why I soak my nuts and seeds, etc. make comments that just don't make any sense.

So it's not always that we are oblivious to what we're eating. It's that what we're taught is pretty much just blatantly wrong, and we just can't get it out of our heads.

I about screamed in delight when I read a blog post from a local doctor that told the TRUTH about grains: that they make your blood sugar spike (and, therefore, crash), then causing other hormonal issues and ultimately leading to weight gain and a whole host of other problems.

YES!

And DUH!

At least DUH for someone who made progress using the GAPS diet. And lost weight and gained muscle while eating plenty. And who feels at least marginally weird every time she eats rice pasta...

But I think back to that damn food pyramid that I still have embedded in my brain from junior high health classes. Remember that one? With the enormous base of breads and grains, it was like 6-11 servings/day? I know they've changed it since, but it's still ridiculous.

Not to mention that I, with no formal training in the area of dietetics, have taught dieticians at my office about gluten issues. They said they had no education or experience with it. That is just not right. I know some great dieticians, but it seems exceedingly weird to me that so many have no clue about Celiac. It seems like this has gotten better over the past 2-3 years, but geesh. If they aren't the experts, who are??

(Side note: when I was first diagnosed with Celiac, the doc told me nothing and referred me to a dietician. When I called to schedule the appointment, they didn't even know what Celiac was, but said that I could come talk to the dietician anyway and she would try to look something up about it. Because I couldn't do that myself...
Also, that it would be at my own expense, since my insurance only covered dietician visits in cases of diabetes. The insurance people were clueless too, by the way. I called to complain, since I have a condition which can only be managed by dietary intervention, and they basically told me I was SOL. Pretty sure I told them where they could stuff their whole wheat bagels...)


I often feel like I'm giving a lecture every time someone asks about what I'm eating. I consciously try to make things as general as possible. After all, it would be a VERY long conversation to fully explain it. But sometimes, I feel obligated to include as much of the story as possible. Maybe I'm not inconveniencing someone with my verbosity, maybe they will use the info to help someone else figure out their food-related problems. Maybe it will spark interest in real healthy food.

As long as we can just ignore that dumb pyramid. Thanks, USDA. Grain subsidies, anyone?

The Gluten Cycle (Record Length Post)

In riding the gluten rollercoaster and failing at life, I often think that I should "detox" for a while. Absolutely nothing else to eat except fruit, vegetables, rice, and some plain meat. I once did it for about two days (with coffee thrown in there, as I wasn't that committed), and I felt pretty good. Except for the whole hunger thing.

I think I was glutened again today. Just as I should have been at the very start of the upswing after Sunday, I felt it this afternoon. The overwhelming need to close my eyes. Spending two minutes mentally rehearsing how I'm going to get up out of my chair before I find the motivation to do it. The rumbly, grumbly gut feeling. I've noticed that if I get glutened in quick succession (within a couple days), the symptoms are almost instant.

I thought I was being good. I got my produce box last night and promptly roasted some vegetables and grilled some plain chicken. I was ready to go!

So: with that in mind, I've narrowed it down to three possibilities.

1. Nature Made calcium plus vitamin D.

I try to take this often, but I'm your typical non-adherent patient. I took one this morning. Since it is sporadically used, it may have caused many glutenings in the past which I could not pin down.

2. Pacific almond milk.

I know they say "gluten free" and that they have all these allergen-removing cleaning procedures that they do every day. But they still run GF products on the same lines as gluten. Big FAIL. (but I still take the chance of drinking it. So who is really to blame?? ------> arrow pointing at me)

And... the one I most highly suspect...

3. Green tea. I think the brand might be Organic Pure??

I made this at work today. I was tired before it, but I was really tired after it. To the point where I could barely think, move, and function. Then I ran (slowly? and with poor coordination?) to the bathroom.

Would anyone like a half box of green tea bags? I think I'm gonna just bump up the caff in my coffee for the next few days and avoid tea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The other part of the gluten cycle isn't just trying to pinpoint a culprit. It's also dealing with the symptoms. I haven't yet found a good way to solve the problem (obviously, since this happens multiple times weekly...)

I know that I should go on instant detox. The irony is that when I'm glutened, I'm in no state of mind (or body) to deprive myself further.

The carb cravings are crazy. Caffeine is guaranteed to be the only way I'm getting my sorry butt to work tomorrow. I'm so tired, I'm ready to drop, but when I drop, I can't actually sleep well. A glass of wine is the only remedy I've found.

Sometimes, I almost hear my adrenal glands complaining. Hey, crazy lady! What do you think you're doing?? We're already working overtime trying to make up for your massive amounts of inflammation, and now you throw this at us? Chocolate cake? Mac and cheese?? Alcohol??? Caffeine????

You really expect us to calm down and ever get your body back to normal?

The really sad part is when I start arguing back :)

I digress... but the point is- I think I can't detox for a few days because I'm afraid of two things.

1. That it won't work (have had this happen before), and I'll just be glutened again after having put forth that much effort

OR

2. That it will work, and that I will have to eat (or not eat, as it may be) that way for the rest of my life.

It is hard enough to deal with what I'm already dealing with. I can't give up everything. At least not for more than a few days.

So I guess my plan is this. I'll indulge the cravings for a short time. Maybe 1 day. I did bake a chocolate cake (Namaste... mmmm....), can't let it go to waste! Guess I should put it in the freezer. I already had two pieces for supper. Welcome to Glutened Land.

Then, I'm going to plan, plan, plan for a 3-day period of nothing remotely problematic. Except coffee, but I'll sacrifice and drink it black. I will use PB from a jar to eat with my apple for breakfast. But that's about it. Oh, and Larabars.

See how this quickly gets out of hand?? Too many exceptions.

Why did I go into all this detail and post it online? It's accountability, friends. No one wants to hear me moan about my symptoms and plan out my diet in real life, and I certainly don't blame them! So here it is, in black and white. Or gray, or purple, or whatever color my basic blog is now.

Here goes nothing. I'm going to go finish off the almond milk so I'm not tempted to put it in my coffee tomorrow! And put (what's left of) the cake in the freezer... And pack my lunch... And get ready to feel hungry but better starting tomorrow! Here's hoping!

Still riding the coaster.

I love roller coasters. If you've never been to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio, it is totally worth the trip! Favorites- Raptor and Millenium Force. Seriously awesome.

I don't like the gluten roller coaster. It stinks. I think I'm on the upswing again after something got me on Friday. Hard to tell, at that time I was recovering from my poor choice last Monday (hot chocolate at an awesome cafe... could tell almost immediately it was a problem).

My current rants after going to the store today- I'm already sick of the retail Christmas push. Seriously, it isn't even Thanksgiving yet. It started before Halloween. I love Christmastime, but it gets more and more commercial every year, earlier and earlier. It takes some of the joy out of it for me to see it on TV and hear the music in the stores, and to know that it is all a ploy to get me to support the retail economy. Joy to the World, the sales have come... or however the song goes...

On a completely unrelated note, food labeling and marketing bugs me. Please define "all natural." I have had so many people say to me, "Oh- it says it is natural. It can't hurt me!" Granted, this is usually said about herbals or dietary supplements, but the idea goes for food, too. There is no FDA definition of what natural means.

I could put my toenail clippings in a jar and label it "all natural." Ok, maybe not, just a thought (albeit a graphic one).

I'll be useful in my next post, I promise. What to write about... my discovery of easy-peasy GF pumpkin cake? With cream cheese frosting? Maybe.